We won't sleep together?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
