my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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