Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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