3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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