you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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