Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
so much tequila, so little girl.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
