I think my vagina is haunted
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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