just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
