I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
