i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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