sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
