i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
