38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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