There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
