Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
