it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
