i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
