I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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