I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
