I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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