After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
