I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
