I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Someone shit on the floor
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
