just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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