it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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