its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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