If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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