how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
