I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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