just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
