Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
