I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I intend to get homeless drunk
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
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