I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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