just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
