...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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