She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
