she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
