he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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