I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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