this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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