you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
