nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
