I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
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