Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
