Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
