the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
