Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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