This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
