He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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