It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
