I wannas sexs uuuuu
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
