I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
When are your genitals available?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
